Drugged Monkey 4
The intervention.
Do you need help?
At which point is a skiing intervention needed? When does our sport become less like a hobby and more like a problem? After reading through some paperwork regarding the dangers of addictions I found that by replacing the word "alcohol", or "drugs", or "wearing women's panties" with the word "skiing" an alarming realization occurs.
Does skiing cause you to display self-destructive behavior?
Check. I've got the x-rays and doctor bills to prove it.
Have you ever jeopardized your job by skiing?
Check. I've taken plenty of "sick" days that were beyond sick.
Does skiing cause a strain on your personal relationships?
Check. This affair keeps me away from home almost every weekend and frequently for weeks at a time.
Do you ever ski by yourself?
Check. "No friends on a powder day".
Do you ever lie about skiing?
Check. (But only to my boss.)
Do you find you're spending money you don't have on skiing?
Check. Why I need a new quiver every year is beyond me.
Are you biologically predisposed to a skiing addiction?
Check. My dad skis more than I do.
As question after question returned positive I realized I had a serious problem. This wearing womens' panties thing… I mean "skiing problem" was getting way out of hand. So I quit "skiing" and now run a traveling road kill petting zoo for nursing homes. There's nothing as rewarding as seeing an already confused elderly person staring at their blood-soaked hands.
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