Drugged Monkey 9
The super fun happy sobriety hour.
That was the name our Asian Investor suggested naming the new bar. We all liked it, but we didn't have enough letters on our marquee so we stole the rest from a Laundromat down the street (That Laundromat later served as a place to wash clothing in exchange for coins). The kid that rode inside the third washer on the second aisle seemed like he was onto us. Why couldn't he just turn a blind eye like the kid who rode inside the fourth washer on the second aisle? Maybe it's because he wasn't blind and the other kid was. (That poor seeing-eye-dog should've waited outside.) A ransom needed to be paid to the kid that rode inside the third washer on the second aisle. His silence wouldn’t be cheap. So we covered him in pork chops and turned him loose in a field full of cows. Apparently cows don't find children or pork chops very appetizing so we let him go. I think the experience was enough to keep him quiet. With our new sign in place it was time to steal all the alcohol and take off with our Asian Investor's money, but then we thought: "You know, that sounds like a lot of work." So we hired a couple of employees to run the bar and it has since made millions. I now live in a giant palace and spend my days laying naked in a tub of cottage cheese.
